The Mentor’s Mental Models: How to Choose the Right Approach for Every Client

(Including when to throw the model out of the window)

Mentoring sits at the crossroads of art and science. The science gives us structure and named models that help us navigate complexity. The art reminds us that real people do not present their challenges in tidy boxes. Leaders arrive with ambition, fear, uncertainty, hope and the occasional moment where they say, “I just need five minutes to rant.” If I relied on only one favourite model I would be forcing a very untidy world into a very tidy container.

The real value is not in the model. It is in knowing when to shift the lens. Some conversations need structure. Some need space. Some need a reality check delivered with kindness. Below are the models that regularly earn their place in my practice and how they show up in real client situations.

GROW

Stands for Goal, Reality, Options, Will
GROW is the classic. It creates clarity when ambition is big but direction is fuzzy. Perfect for strategic planning, early stage growth conversations or when a leader needs help turning “I want to get somewhere” into “Here is what I will do next.”

Use it when structure supports momentum. Put it away when the conversation begins to feel like you are reading out steps from an IKEA manual.

TGROW

Stands for Topic, Goal, Reality, Options, Will
TGROW simply adds one crucial piece before everything else. It asks “What are we actually talking about?” Leaders often arrive convinced they know the core issue, only to discover that their chosen topic was a decoy. TGROW allows the client to sharpen and refine the topic before committing to a goal or solution.

Ideal for role transitions, senior promotions or situations where someone says, “The problem is my team” which often translates to “There are ten things happening at once and I can only name one of them.”

CLEAR

Stands for Contract, Listen, Explore, Action, Review
CLEAR thrives in conversations with emotional weight. Conflicts. People issues. Trust problems. Cultural friction. Anything where the surface story and the real story do not match.

The model slows everything down. It deepens connection and helps the client explore what is really driving the issue. It is also a reminder that mentoring is not just analysis. It is relationship.

SHIFT³

My own little model: Position, Ambition, Strategy
SHIFT³ is the engine room behind most strategic mentoring and facilitation I deliver. It gets leaders aligned on where they truly are today, where they want to go and how they will get there...fast

Position gives the truth. Ambition sets direction. Strategy creates the movement. This simple basis can then be used to create one page plans and 12 weeks sprints to bring timely, responsible action to the table.

It works beautifully for growth planning, annual resets, founder realignment, post acquisition integration or when a business is doing too many things with too little focus. It is simple, structured and very usable which is exactly why clients remember it and actually apply it.

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Lean more about SHIFT³ HERE

The Resilience Cycle

A practical model for exploring how leaders recover, recharge and adapt when life or business applies pressure. This is not motivational fluff. It is a grounded way to help clients recognise depletion patterns, renewal habits and how to lead without burning out.

Useful for stress points like cashflow tension, rapid growth, unexpected shocks or periods where the leader is running on caffeine and hope.

Cultural Intelligence

A way of understanding how intent is translated through culture, personality, background and interpersonal contexts. Perfect for leaders managing diverse teams, international partners or simply cross departmental differences that feel cultural even when everyone technically works in the same building.

It helps clients see their impact rather than only their intention. Always a healthy exercise.

Leadership Cadence

The operational rhythm behind effective leadership. Cadence covers weekly cycles, decision pathways, accountability structures and how leaders actually show up. Most founders only realise the need for cadence when things start to feel chaotic. Once established it dramatically improves momentum, communication and clarity.

It also avoids the classic founder habit of trying to solve everything by working harder rather than leading differently.

The Counter Argument

All of these models have value. They also have limits. A model is a guide, not a master. Overuse can flatten the conversation and reduce presence. Too much structure can make mentoring feel clinical. Some of the most powerful moments come when the model quietly steps aside and the conversation becomes fully human.

Experienced mentors know when to use a model and when to drop it. The client never comes for the clever acronym. They come for the thinking partnership, the challenge, the reflection and the clarity that emerges from a real conversation. The model should serve the client. The client should never feel like they are serving the model.

The Real Art of Mentoring

Exceptional mentoring is not built on perfect adherence to frameworks. It is built on judgement, timing, curiosity and the ability to meet the client exactly where they are. Models help. They create structure, insight and movement. But they are tools, not a philosophy.

Use them freely. Put them away freely. The value lies in the shift, not the model itself.